I sure hope that even though you don't have to eat in heaven, that you at least get a brownie or a Ding-Dong (cause those haven't been resurrected yet...probably so you can have them on your birthday first).
I wanted to thank you for helping to convince me to go on a mission; I know you played a big part in it. Thanks for all your help on the mission. Sometimes I could really feel you near, but I knew you often, if not always, were by my side. You were in one my dreams a few weeks before I left and I cherish that dream. in the dream we were all home decorating for Christmas (although it was not anywhere near Christmas time in the "real world"), when suddenly we realized you weren't around. We looked around for you but couldn't find you. Then you came home, you had gone to the mall by yourself (I guess in the dream the mall was a lot closer to home). You were so excited because you bought Christmas presents for all of us by yourself. You got me a Beauty and the Beast snow-globe; it was beautiful. I just loved your excitement, you were always so excited to give (and get) presents; that's one thing I will never forget about you.
It is surprising how much more I miss you as time passes. You hear that "it gets easier with time" but I think it gets harder with time. I've been reading these blogs of parents who have lost young children and their experiences/thoughts/feelings/ and just life after their loss and I think they feel the same. I think it gets easier to cope with the pain of loss, but the loss becomes more apparent as time passes. Like when our sweet little nephew was born; you love babies and I know you would've been so excited to be an aunt. And also to have been at Nate and Frannie's wedding, you always loved weddings. Of course it was difficult to come home and you weren't there. Yes, I think one learns how to handle the hurt when it pops up, but it seems to pop up more as the time passes and the missing piece sticks out more, as more pieces are filled into the puzzle.
I am so grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ because it brings peace and hope. Through His sacrifice we will be a family forever through the power of the priesthood which seals us together. I know that you are not truly gone, just out of site. Many of the apostles have lost someone they love (a spouse or a child) and have repeatedly told us in conference that the veil is thin; Elder Richard G. Scott said in April 2012 "We can strengthen our relationship with the departed individual we love by recognizing that the separation is temporary and that covenants made in the temple are eternal." Peace filled my heart when he said that. I so desperately want to fill closer to you all the time; now I understand how and am striving do so. I know the rest of the family misses you too. You and grandma Beth, and uncle Bryce and all our other beloved family members who have gone on before; we miss you all. But comfort comes through prayer and the knowledge of the resurrection; strength to carry on comes through the power of the enabling power of the Atonement. Families are forever.
I know this may not flow well, or make much sense, they are just thoughts directed to you this day.
I love you whole bunches!!!
Love,
Lena-Bena
PS We are eating Laffy-Taffy's and I am wearing purple just for you.
Beautiful!
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